So I'm driving home from dropping off some movies at blockbuster the other, and Edwyn McCain's "I'll Be" comes on. Even though I have just pulled into the driveway, I stay in the car until the song is over. Why is it that certain songs have that effect on you. No matter what, when or where, the second one of "those" songs come on, you have to stop. "I'll Be " has no particular sentimental value to me; I just have to stop when it comes on. I don't. Lately, any song I hear makes me think of either Christien, or of something having to do with my family. Look, I'm going to be honest, my origional intent of starting this was to have a record for Christien to look back on. I don't know when or if I'll be allowed to be a part of his life again, but I'm hoping one day he'll see this and know his father really did love him and wanted to be there for him. I'm down in NC now because I thought this would be the only way I could be sure of protecting myself and my family. I honestly believed the courts would put maintaning a relationship between a father and his son above any petty squabbles between "adults". Here are some sobering stats I found on a website devoted to helping fathers regain their parental rights:

"Steve Farrar provides more stats in his book Anchor Man:

85 percent of all children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes.
90 percent of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes.
71 percent of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.
75 percent of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes.
63 percent of youth suicides are from fatherless homes.
70 percent of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes.
85 percent of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in fatherless homes.
80 percent of rapists come from fatherless homes."

I googled Fathers for equal rights which led me to the site where I got this. Unfortunately, I did not save the web address because it was basically a guy trying to get deperate fathers' money. 2 thoughts arose out of the Google search:
1. one result was from NOW-the National Organization for Women-warning women that some of thes fathers'-rights organizations are being deceptive and amnipulative, and just trying to screw the women out of child support. They essentislly say that courts are NOT biased against fathers and that joint custody only works if both parents agree to it. Well, NOW, here is your counterpoint! Here is a father who wants to be a part of his son's life, but isn't being allowed to because of HER deceptions. The court record is riddled with her lies and contradictions, yet when I try to point them out, they don't want to hear about it. She has denyed me my visits for several MONTHS at a time, without court approval, and then claims hardship with child support whenever things start going in my favor. You know what, if he is such a financial burden to her, then why can't I have him. Here is my offer-in writing: Let me have custody of Christien. In exchange, I waive all rights to ONE SINGLE PENNY OF CHILD SUPPORT. In addition, she can have full unencumbered access to him when she wishes. If she wants to call and speak with him, she can, if she wants to have a visit with him she can. I would never deny her access to him. after all, A CHILD NEEDS BOTH THEIR MOTHER AND THEIR FATHERS IN THEIR LIFE. I firmly believe that.
By the way, I think NOW is a very worthwhile organization. I may not agree with all of their positions, but that doesn't mean I disapprove of the group. I will gladly discuss this matter with any member of NOW who wishes to contact me.
2. #1 was so long winded, I'm going to try and keep #2 short. For all those who seek from other people's misery-ala that website I had mentioned earlier- How dare you?!I'm sorry. I may be a little jaded here because of som amny scams I've seen or heard of. I really don't know if that site is worthwhile or not, but the fact it talked about ways of getting around child support makes me wonder about the source. If the webmaster does provide a good service that really helps those who needs it, I'm sorry for misjudging you. But for all you who are in it solely for the money, who are taking advantage of people who need help, and who don't give a damn about noone but themselves, they should have a special spot in hell for your kind. Look, I'm no angel, but I have enough of a heart to know that you should try and help your fellow man.
This post is way too long. I'm going to go. I will, post my history so you can have a full, unbiased opinion of me as you read this. I will try to get it done this weekend. Thank you for visiting me today.